


it's a love story (baby, just say yes)

by keiyara



Series: The Tales of Wylan Van Eck [2]
Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23382937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keiyara/pseuds/keiyara
Summary: Sergie beamed. “Terrible. The idiot screwed up, and now we’re all in danger!”“What do you mean ‘we’re all in danger’?” Jesper asked, staring at Sergie in confusion.“The idiot - oh, I can’t even speak his name, it’s too terrible to utter - screwed up. Instead of ordering all the outfits toAmsterdam, he ordered them toAntwerp. As in,Belgium. All the ceremonial outfits are two hours away from here, and the wedding starts in two hours.”Re-post of epilogue inTales of Wylan Van Eck.
Relationships: Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik
Series: The Tales of Wylan Van Eck [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681780
Kudos: 11





	it's a love story (baby, just say yes)

**Author's Note:**

> Title credit goes to, a classic and absolute banger of a song, Taylor Swift's _Love Story_.
> 
> This is a re-post of the epilogue in _Tales of Wylan Van Eck_. It's a bit long, so I wanted to have a separate version of posted alone, just for people that want some fun without having to wade through 100K first.
> 
> And for anybody that hasn't read TWVE - you really don't have to read that to get this!

_ Jesper _

“They changed the venue,” Jesper muttered under his breath. “I can’t believe this. After all the fancy preparation at the other place,  _ they changed the fucking venue _ .”

“I still don’t get why you’re so mad about this,” Wylan said from beside him, sounding confused. “It’s going to be fine Jes.”

“Is it though?” Jesper asked ominously, leaning towards Wylan to kiss him lightly. Wylan smiled through the kiss and despite himself, Jesper’s mood lightened.

“Yes, it’s going to be absolutely fine,” Wylan assured him, resting a hand on his arm. “Now  _ drive _ , before we miss the wedding in its entirety.”

Flashing a wink at the ginger, he gave him a salute before scanning the GPS and taking a right. He scowled as he saw another tree and looked at Wylan again. “But why the woods though?” he whined, his voice taking on a higher tone. “I looked at pictures of it online, and it looks like a - a Satanic  _ mansion _ , in the middle of the woods. It’s  _ ancient _ . It looks like it belongs to the set of Paranormal Activity 3. And not like, the good Paranormal Activity. The  _ bad _ one.”

Wylan shrugged, running the hand down his arm comfortingly. “I don’t know Jes,” he said, giving him a fond smile. Jesper returned it, staring at the ginger freckles that covered his face. Wylan was - no matter what he thought of himself -  _ beautiful _ .

“Anyways, we should be here in a few more minutes,” Wylan said, looking at the GPS. “And you have no right to complain. You’d expect the Wi-Fi to be spotty or something, but no, it’s really good. Like,  _ really _ good. Where even  _ are _ the routers?” Wylan twisted in his seat to look around the woods they were currently driving through, and Jesper rolled his eyes at the other boy.

“Sunshine, I think the point of this location was so they’d be  _ out of _ a Wi-Fi zone. However horrendous the idea might be.” He faked a shudder while taking another turn. “Hey, I think this is the path we have to take. I see other cars.”

Soon enough, the two had parked alongside the rest of the cars and were heading toward the massive mansion that the wedding was being held in. There was an ivy-lined path leading them there and delicate fairy lights hung everywhere. Jesper snorted as he saw it all.

“Rich people,” he said, rolling his eyes. Wylan made a face beside him and Jesper cursed as he remembered Wylan’s upbringing. “Sunshine, you know you don’t count right?”

Wylan raised an eyebrow at him. “Why not? After everything that’s happened, I have my father’s empire. I’m rich now. So  _ so _ ridiculously rich.”

“But you’re not as ridiculous as these people,” Jesper said soothingly. “As long as you’re not snotty-rich, you’re good.”

A blush rose on his face - that beautiful blush Jesper vowed to try to bring to his face at least once everyday - and Wylan leaned forward to gently kiss him. “Thank you,” Wylan exhaled against his skin and Jesper smiled, grabbing Wylan’s hand in his own. 

“As much as I appreciate the free viewing, I’d rather not,” came a loud drawl from behind them and Jesper rolled his eyes, running his other hand down Wylan’s back in a comforting way.

“Kaz, you voyeuristic asshole,” he called behind him and the two turned to see Inej and Kaz. For once, Kaz had been pulled out of his almost-mandatory uniform and was instead wearing a suit like Jesper and Wylan were. Inej on the other hand, had on a long gauzy lilac dress that almost flowed behind her in a faerie-like way. It matched her, he decided.

Wylan had beaten the both of them by far, but they did look nice.

“A pleasure,” Kaz said crisply, and Inej rolled her eyes at her boyfriend’s more dramatic tendencies.

“Well,” Inej clasped her hands. “I know Nina and Matthias are going to come later, so why don’t we head to the mansion? Wylan, I hope your performance goes well.” She shot his boyfriend - Jesper still reveled in the term, even all this time later - a comforting look.

Wylan sent Inej a soft smile. “Yeah. They have my instrument there at the manor itself - apparently Bolliger and Gretina brought it with them. So… yeah, I haven’t had much time to practice with college and,” -he cut himself off, but they all heard the words he had intended to say anyway - “and yeah. so yeah, hopefully it all works out.”

“It will,” Inej assured Wylan, and Jesper smiled at him. Kaz raised an eyebrow as he sped up and Wylan dropped back to talk to Inej. They walked a little ahead of the other two, and Kaz looked at him expectantly.

“You look happy,” Kaz said immediately instead of his usual nothing (because obviously a simple greeting, that would be  _ way _ too hard for the King of Vampires And All Things Creepy). 

“Yeah I’m happy,” Jesper admitted to Kaz. “Life’s going pretty well. Wylan’s happy.”

Kaz looked at him carefully. “I’m not sure when Wylan’s happiness was pivotal to your own,” the other boy said slowly. “But - and I’m probably going to regret this in about five minutes - I’ve already given Wylan the shovel talk, and he gets along great with Inej.”

“You’ve  _ what _ ?” Jesper repeated, giving Kaz an outraged look. “Kaz, you can’t just go around giving people shovel talks. Wylan doesn’t need your terrifying-ass trying to-”

“-and  _ so _ ,” Kaz said loudly, speaking over him. “I have deemed him acceptable. Which…” Kaz trailed off, and Jesper stared at him silently. “Wylan’s an okay kid,” Kaz finally finished softly, looking at Jesper. “Stay with him.”

“I wasn’t going to leave him…?” Jesper trailed off confused even as Kaz faded back to Inej, and Wylan replaced him once again.

“What was that about?” Wylan asked Jesper. He shrugged, confused.

“What was your conversation with Inej about?”

“Sergie, Bolliger, and Gretina,” Wylan said lightly, smiling. “Sergie and I have kept in touch, and I’m so excited to meet him at the wedding! He’s not completely over Gretina and Bolliger yet, but… small steps. Sergie’s started to take more of them, and he’s beginning to understand that neither of them were worth the trouble of loving them.”

Jesper hummed. He had never really understood Sergie’s relationship with Wylan, but Sergie  _ was _ helpful, and Wylan did care about him. “As long as he’s happy,” Jesper said, and Wylan smiled.

“Yeah.” Wylan echoed quietly, but the ghost of a beautiful smile betrayed his thoughts. “Happy.”

The four of them kept quiet for the rest of the walk, but Jesper could feel it in the air they all breathed.

_ Happy _ .

#

_ Wylan _

Alas, Wylan was no longer happy.

“Wait,  _ what _ ?” he asked, squinting at the orchestra he had been placed in front of. “Vasily, what the fuck!”

Vasily shot Wylan a smile. “Don’t you remember? We told you that an orchestra would be accompanying you and your clarinet.”

Wylan squinted at the man. “No. You literally  _ never _ told me that.”

“Pity,” Vasily said simply, before gesturing grandly to the orchestra. “Well, there’s no time like the present. Here’s an orchestra that’s going to be accompanying you and your clarinet.”

Waving his hand in goodbye, Vasily turned on his heel and sauntered away.

“I have a flute…” Wylan whispered mournfully as Vasily disappeared into the distance. “ _ I have a flute _ .”

One timid orchestra player raised their hand, and Wylan looked at him distractedly. “Yes?” he asked, looking at the man that was -  _ shorter than he was _ ?

This was  _ unheard _ of. Wylan gloated silently, before remembering his predicament and his joyous mood ran off in a sort of hurried manner.

“We need to start practicing,” the man stuttered. “The wedding starts in three hours, and if we don’t play this song to perfection, all of our heads are on the line.”

Wylan thought of Oksanochka and her murderous glare. “Definitely,” Wylan nodded. “Speaking of, where are all of you guys from, anyway? Where did Vasily kidnap a random orchestra from?”

There were a stream of responses, ranging from  _ We’re not allowed to say _ to  _ Peru _ , and a horrified Wylan decided not to question them any further.

#

They were about forty-five minutes in when Jesper ran into the room. “I want a  _ B _ here from the double bass section,” Wylan ordered. The double bass section - which, naturally, consisted of exactly three sad individuals - hurriedly played a  _ B _ , and Wylan inwardly wondered why Vasily hadn’t bothered to kidnap a good orchestra.

If you were going to kidnap an orchestra, why wouldn’t you bother to kidnap an above-average one? Why did Vasily have to kidnap a  _ bad _ orchestra?

“That wasn’t a  _ B _ ,” Wylan realized belatedly. “That was like, an  _ F sharp _ from two people, and a  _ C _ from the other one. How do you guys not know how to play a  _ B _ ?”

Jesper cleared his throat from behind, and Wylan jumped. “Easy there,” Jesper said as he kissed his cheek. “There’s a small problem.”

Wylan raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “I’ve just been instructed to direct an orchestra that’s apparently going to be accompanying me and get them ready in the next three hours and the double bass section - trio, really - currently cannot play a  _ B _ , so no, I will not help you with whatever wild idea you have in mind.”

Jesper made a face. “For once,” he said. “It is not I, that is in trouble, my love. In fact, remember the DJ that got fired and replaced by you?”

Wylan shrugged and directed the double bass trio to play a  _ C  _ scale. “Gretina has mentioned the DJ to me in passing. Like, when she wants to threaten me to practice my flute so I won’t screw up at her wedding.”

Jesper pursed his lips. “Apparently the DJ got mad at you and in revenge, has stolen all the cars.” Nearby, the double basses butchered the  _ C  _ scale Wylan had given them, and the ginger winced.

Wylan squinted at his boyfriend. “What do you mean, ‘the DJ has stolen all the cars’?” Waving his hand, he directed the double basses to try the  _ C  _ scale again. 

“The DJ took every single car out of the lot and hid them somewhere out in the wild. Gretina is freaking out, and I think Bolliger passed out from the shock five minutes ago. Sergie is trying to find out if the honeymoon car was left alone, and the rest of us are currently stuck in the middle of nowhere until somebody can find out where all the cars were taken.”

The random notes played by the frankly terrible double bass section matched the horror in Wylan’s heart.

#

“ _ WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE’RE STUCK HERE? _ ” Wylan screamed as Jesper halfheartedly dragged him away from the orchestra and pulled him into an abandoned hallway instead. Distantly, he heard screaming from the (maybe?) Peruvian orchestra as they learned that they were trapped somewhere in the Amsterdam wilderness.

“Technically,  _ we’re _ not stuck here,” Jesper corrected. “Inej and Kaz drove here as well, and the DJ is too terrified of them both to steal their car. So it’ll be an uncomfortably tight ride, but we can drive back with Inej and Kaz.”

Wylan raised his eyebrow at Jesper. “But what… what about  _ our _ car?”

More screaming rang from the room Wylan and Jesper had just left, and Wylan gaped as he heard rapid footsteps. The door swung open, and Jesper pulled Wylan out of the way as roughly two hundred terrified (possible) Peruvians ran out the orchestra room. 

“Oh… that.” Jesper shot Wylan two finger guns and a grin as a flock of terrified instrument-wielding orchestra members fought to get through the narrow door-frame. “That was stolen.”

“By the DJ, or did  _ you _ steal a car from some random civilians, which in turn got stolen by the DJ, because - before today - I’ve never seen the car you drove us here in?”

Jesper grinned. “The latter. Speaking of which, I  _ really _ hope the person I stole the car from has insurance, because I was planning on returning it after today, but at the rate this is going, they might just never get their car back.”

Bewildered, Wylan waved his hands at Jesper and tried to ignore the blatant theft Jesper had just admitted to committing. “Okay,” he said, trying to calm himself down. “Okay, at least nothing else has gone wrong. Everything except for transport is alright. And with luck, the honeymoon car also hasn’t been stolen so at least the bride and the groom can go to their honeymoon and then we can all figure out how to leave.”   


Right then, Wylan heard more rapid footsteps from his other side, and he turned to see a massive, purple-suited, sequin emblazoned apparition run straight to the two of them. Wylan tensed but relaxed as Jesper pressed his shoulder reassuringly, and informed him that this apparition, was, in fact, his long-time friend Sergie.

Sergie stopped and let out a hurried breath. “ _ Wylan _ ,” Sergie said, pulling Wylan into a hug. “You’re  _ here _ !”

Wylan hugged the massive man back, grinning despite himself. “Yep,” he said sympathetically, remembering the pain Sergie was probably going through. “I am. How are you, with the wedding and everything?”   


Sergie beamed. “Terrible. The idiot screwed up, and now we’re  _ all _ in danger!”

“What do you mean ‘we’re all in danger’?” Jesper asked, staring at Sergie in confusion.

“The idiot - oh, I can’t even speak his name, it’s too terrible to utter - screwed up. Instead of ordering all the outfits to  _ Amsterdam _ , he ordered them to  _ Antwerp _ . As in,  _ Belgium _ . All the ceremonial outfits are two hours away from here, and the wedding  _ starts _ in two hours.”

_ # _

Honestly, from the way things were going, Wylan couldn’t blame Bolliger for passing out.

“Slow down,” Jesper directed Sergie. “ _ All  _ the outfits? What do you mean?”   


“The bridesmaid, the maid of honour, the bride, the groom, the best man, the second best man, the second bridesmaid, the third bridesmaid, the flower girl, the flower boy, the illegal preacher, the legal preacher -  _ all _ of them! We had outfits for  _ all _ of them! And they’re currently in the  _ wrong country _ .”

“Sergie?” Wylan asked, staring once again at his purple-sequined suit. “Aren’t you the ring bearer?”

Sergie smiled serenely. “Yes, I am.”

“... is this the outfit you’re going to wear during the wedding? Oksanochka, Gretina, Bolliger - they all approved it?”

“Definitely.” Sergie finger-gunned him, and Wylan wondered when his life had become the disaster he was currently living.

“Are you sure?”

“I think it’s wonderful,” Jesper defended Sergie with a grin. “It’s absolutely beautiful Wylan - are you doubting the power of the purple sequined suit?”

“Absolutely not,” Wylan rescinded any earlier suspicions at Sergie’s purple suit. He was grinning harder than Wylan had seen for a very long time (and judging from that fact that Sergie was always beaming, this was pretty novel). “I love your suit, Sergie.”

“Thank you Wylan,” Sergie said smiling pristinely. “I have to go check up on the food and make sure it’s not poisoned. Can you please figure out a way to get the outfits back in time for the wedding? And maybe somebody else can get the orchestra back and regroup so we’re all ready in two hours?”

Jesper tilted his head towards the nearest window and squinted at the flurry of orchestral instrument wielding people running through the forest.

“I think we’re a little too late to get them back,” he informed Sergie and Wylan. “I’m pretty sure they all just ran away.”

Sergie rolled his eyes. “Ugh, whatever. They’re Vasily’s problem,  _ anyway _ .”

_ # _

Inej shot Kaz a glare. “Is this secretly  _ your _ doing?”

Kaz gave her an innocent look but stayed silent.

“I’m serious, because if I find out that you’ve ruined yet  _ another _ wedding, I’m going to be furious.”

He smiled. “I’ve done nothing. I’ve been sitting here by your side this entire time.” Reaching out a hand, he grasped hers and the two tilted their heads to look around the venue. The wedding officially started in two hours, but people had already begun streaming in and they’d all surrounded the reception area. Appetizers were being served, and quiet music played from some corner of the room.

Inej tilted her head as Vasily Lantsov sauntered his way over to them and gestured for them to follow him. Kaz pretended not to see, instead choosing to grab a glass of champagne from a passing waiter.

“Kaz,” she scolded quietly.

“I see nothing,” he replied. “You see nothing. We are not following that fool.”

Rolling her eyes, she grabbed his bicep and tugged him over to where Vasily was. Vasily gestured them over to a relatively quiet corner of the reception area, a look of urgency on his face.

“I need your help,” he whispered dramatically. “ _ Please _ . You’re our  _ only _ hope. Otherwise, we’re  _ all _ dead. This is our lives on the li-”

“Absolutely not,” Kaz deadpanned.

“You haven’t even heard what I was going to ask!” the other man protested.

“I don’t need to. No.”

“Maybe we should hear him out,” Inej started cautiously, and Vasily began nodding rapidly.

“Listen to your girlfriend, Brekker. Listen to the love of your life-” Kaz scowled, and he quickly changed route. “ _ Please _ ? I really need this. Or else we’re all going to die - you, me, your girlfriend, everybody.”

Inej sighed. “What do you need, Vasily?”

“Okay, so how much have your friends told you about the… car situation?” Vasily asked, tilting his head curiously.

“Car situation?” Kaz asked, arching an eyebrow. “What car situation?”

Vasily began giggling, an odd high-pitched noise that sounded more like the product of fifty hours of sleepless anxiety and less like genuine mirth. “So. You are aware of how Wylan replaced the old DJ?”

“...yes?”

“So, evidently, the DJ was infuriated and in revenge… he stole all the cars?”

“What do you mean, he ‘stole all the cars’?” Kaz asked slowly, narrowing his eyes at Vasily. “ _ Are you telling me he touched my damn car _ ?”

Inej gave him a look.

“ _ Are you telling me he touched Inej’s damn car _ ?” he amended.

Nervously, Vasily shook his head rapidly. “Everybody’s car  _ except _ for yours,” he clarified. “And the honeymoon car. But more importantly, your car was left alone.”

Inej arched her eyebrow. “Okay. Good to know. We’re the only people that can leave this godforsaken jungle. So what do you need us for?”

He took another deep breath and glanced nervously at the nearest exit. Kaz and Inej instinctively took a step forward, trapping him in his little corner.

“Unfortunately, an idiot screwed up and accidentally ordered all the ceremonial outfits to Antwerp. Which, incidentally, is two hours away.”

Inej tilted her head. “The wedding starts in two hours, Vasily.”

He pursed his lips. “I’m aware. We’re planning on delaying for an hour. That leaves time for somebody to drive to Amsterdam-Centraal Train Station, go on the hour and fifteen minute ride to Antwerp, pick up the costumes, come back on the return train ride, and then drive back to this forest. Which would taken approximately two hours and forty-five minutes, all in all.”

“No,” Kaz said automatically. “I am not going on a two hour and forty-five minute adventure to rectify a mistake of your own doing, Vasily.”

He twisted his lips into a pout. “ _ Please _ ? Bolliger’s passed out in his dressing room, and Gretina’s beside herself. Plus,  _ all _ of our orchestra members have run away, so we now only have - Wyatt? Wade? Wesley? - to be the musician.”

“Wasn’t Wylan always supposed to be the only musician?” Inej asked, confused.

“That’s his name?” Vasily replied instead. “ _ Wylan _ . Huh. Anyways, no. We informed him today that we kidnapped a Peruvian orchestra to play behind him. But then they all ran away, and they’re somewhere in the forest. I think a few got lost in the building. Someone might be stuck in an air vent.” 

Kaz and Inej exchanged looks.

_ I don’t want to help _ . Kaz looked resolute.

She sighed.  _ But we have to _ .

_ You’re the saint. You do what you want, but I’m going to sit here and laugh _ .

“I can go help Bolliger and Gretina calm down,” Inej finally said. “Matthias and Nina are coming in…”

“Twenty minutes,” Kaz supplied.

Vasily’s face brightened and he shot them both beams. “Thank god! We’ll finally have another car when they arrive.”

Inej winced. “Actually, Nina talked Matthias into a new exercise/environmental regimen. They can only drive about fifteen miles per week, and because they used up all their miles on Monday when Nina drove them out about seventy miles for a special waffle place, they’ve been biking everywhere ever since.”

“Are you telling me both Nina and Matthias are  _ biking _ to the wedding venue?!”

Inej nodded sagely. “Pretty much.”

_ # _

In the end, it was Sergie and a kidnapped Peruvian orchestral member found in the air vents of the kitchen who were sacrificed to go find the outfits in Antwerp.

“Why are we sending them both?” Jesper asked, confused. 

Wylan shrugged. “We were originally planning on just sending the kidnapped Peruvian orchestra member, but then he told us he was a viola player.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Jesper asked, looking even more confused.

“Nobody trusts a viola player,” Wylan said darkly. “Not even viola players trust viola players.”

Jesper still looked confused, but shrugged and moved on. “Okay? Anyways, so Sergie and a viola player are out heading to Antwerp. Vasily delayed the ceremony for an hour, but reception still ends in two hours, which means somebody needs to distract the crowd for a solid extra hour.”

“How are we going to do that?” Wylan asked, checking his phone. “Speaking of which, why are  _ we _ planning this? What happened to Vasily, and Oksanochka, and hell - the bride and groom? Where is the wedding planner? Did they even  _ hire _ a wedding planner?”

Jesper made a face. “Who knows? Inej went upstairs to try to coax Bolliger back to life, and I know Kaz is hanging around purely for his own amusement. Honestly, I don’t blame him.”

“That’s probably fair,” Wylan said, sighing. “Where’s Nina and Matthias again?”

“They’re biking here, remember?” Jesper prompted. “The exercise-slash-global health thing Nina convinced Matthias to do for her?”

“Ohh,” Wylan said, thinking of the Sunday Nina had brought it up. Matthias had been hesitant (and Kaz, Inej, Jesper and Wylan had all urged Matthias not to agree) but finally he’d relented, and sure enough, they’d ended up using all their miles on the first day. 

“Okay, so to recap, we do we have who to wrangle with now?”

“I think we got assigned to deal with the preachers and the orchestra members,” Wylan remembered. “Which, speaking of - can you  _ please _ hunt down the orchestra members?”

Jesper shot him a smile and bent down to kiss his cheek. “Sure sunshine. Are you sure you don’t want me to deal with the two preachers? Which, by the way, why the hell do they have both a legal preacher _ and _ an illegal preacher?”

Wylan shrugged. “I’m pretty sure the ‘official’ preacher is the illegal one, but Bolliger’s aunt threw a tantrum and she’d taken a bullet for him five minutes prior or something.”

“But if they already had a legal preacher lying around, why the need for the  _ illegal _ one?”

“Who knows with mafia customs?” Wylan answered, rising on his toes to kiss his boyfriend. He smiled as Jesper responded to it by tilting his mouth and deepening it, liquid warmth melting into his mouth. “ _ Jes _ ,” he breathed as-

“What the  _ hell _ do the two of you think you’re doing?” 

They both hurriedly pulled apart to see an irate Oksanochka standing there, heavily-muscled arms crossed in disappointment. “Wylan. I thought I assigned you to the preachers. Fahey - you’re supposed to be hunting down the orchestra members.”

Jesper shot her a lazy grin, even as Wylan blushed a deep red. “I’m making out with my boyfriend,” he said innocently. “Surely you’re familiar with the concept?”

Oksanochka raised a sleek unimpressed eyebrow, and he saluted her as he began walking away.

“And I thought between Nina and Matthias, you were the better couple,” she deadpanned in a heavily accented voice. Wylan flushed as he remembered their last conversation.  _ Stay with him _ , she’d told Wylan. God, it hadn’t been that long but it still seemed like it had happened a forever ago.

He blinked away the haze of memories and tried to focus. “So, what do you want me to do with the preachers?”

She sighed. “The impossible.”

“Come again?”

“You already know why we have the legal preacher?” she asked. Wylan nodded. “We need to take her out somehow. Sergie was supposed to work on a drugged tea, but we recently found out that she’s allergic to tea and stays three feet away from a cup at all times.”

“Are people even allergic to tea?” Wylan asked while warily taking a step away from her. He’d forgotten how much she terrified him. Evil fathers and gun-toting mercenaries aside - Oksanochka was hands down the scariest of them all. “So you want me to knock her unconscious somehow? Because I can’t cook for my life.”

“Believe me, I’m well-aware,” she said pointedly. Wylan flushed again. “I need you to put this-” she pulled out a clear syringe from her pocket, “-into her perfume. She’ll put it on in preparation for the ceremony, and will be out in five seconds.”

Steeling himself, he forced himself to look into her charcoal black eyes. “I’m not being an accomplice to murder,” he said. “This won’t kill her, will it?”

A half-smile crept onto her face. “No. Just knock her out for five to six hours. By then, the ceremony will be over.”

He took the syringe from her hands and turned it over in his hand. “So I pour all of this into her perfume?”

“Oh  _ heavens _ no. Just half of it. Pour all of it and she’ll die.”

He paled and looked back up at her.

The half-smile quirked once again. “A joke.”

A world where people like Oksanochka joked. Prospective retirement did wonders for a person’s mood.

“Thanks, I guess,” Wylan said finally, nodding. “I don’t think I’ll ever see you again after today, but I hope you enjoy retirement.”

Her smile was slow to come, but she looked up and stared dead into Wylan’s eyes. “Keep being friends with Kaz Brekker and you  _ will _ see me again.”

“Okay?”

She nodded. “Stay with them. They’re good for you.”

He smiled at that, raising his face to look her in the eyes in return. “I know. I will. Goodbye Oksanochka.”

She smiled, lightly touched his face, and walked away. 

_ # _

Fifteen minutes later, when Nina and Matthias had finally made their way into the venue, they were both red in the face and ready to sit down. 

“I am never listening to you ever again,” he growled, glaring at his girlfriend.

“Do it for the calorie count,” she muttered weakly, laying her head against his. “Love you too, babe.”

Wylan awkwardly cleared his throat, making them both stiffen and turn to look at him. Kaz had appeared beside him some time ago, and the two had hunted around in an attempt to find Nina and Matthias.

“Hey Wylan!” Nina said brightly. climbing off her boyfriend. Pulling him into a hug, Wylan smiled as he gripped her tightly.

“Hey Nina, Matthias,” he nodded at the both of them. He vaguely registered Kaz nodding at the two of them as well. “Anyways - I’m sorry, I know you’re both really exhausted - but… well, there’s been a slight situation.”

Nina arched an eyebrow. “Define ‘situation’.”

“It seems that this is the wedding from hell,” Kaz intervened, leaning against his cane. “Inej coaxed the groom Bolliger back to consciousness a few minutes ago, but Gretina is still out of her mind with worry. The jilted DJ stole all of the cars out of anger, except for mine and the honeymoon car. The outfits have all been ordered to Antwerp by accident, so Sergie and a member of a kidnapped Peruvian orchestra have been sent to track him down. Speaking of said kidnapped Peruvian orchestra, Jesper has been sent to find the remaining members, so naturally we can expect exactly none of them to ever be found again.”

Matthias and Nina stared at Kaz in disbelief.

They swiveled their faces to Wylan, as if double-checking that Kaz wasn’t making a joke.

“Kaz isn’t joking,” Wylan said gravely. He ignored the offended “I never joke” from Kaz and continued. “Speaking of, I’ve been told to drug the legal preacher so she’ll miss the ceremony and allow the illegal preacher to do their work instead. Don’t ask me why we’re drugging the legal one, but we have to somehow, and I’m not sure how.” 

Matthias raised a skeptical blonde eyebrow. “And why are we doing all of this? We’re guests as well.”

Kaz sighed. “They’re calling in the favour for Wylan’s father. And anyways, would you rather sit in the reception bored out of your mind?”  
Matthias and Nina shuddered.

“Okay, so Nina - in about an hour and a half, when everybody begins to file into the ceremony room, you need to find a way to distract them for an hour. Until then, help Wylan drug the legal preacher. Matthias, you’re going to track down where all the cars went, or else god save us all, I am  _ not _ chauffeuring over fifty criminals in the back of my car.” 

“The cars,” Matthias said disbelievingly. “He stole all the cars.”

Nina whistled lowly. “Maybe it’s a good thing we biked,” she said, bumping his shoulder against her own. “At least  _ our _ car didn’t get stolen. But did yours?” she looked at Wylan.

He nodded darkly. “Worst case scenario, Inej’s offered Jesper and I the use of her car.”

“Better than nothing,” Matthias said. “Okay - I’m going to get started on tracking down the cars. Kaz, you’re coming with me - I am not doing this by myself. Where is Inej?”

“She’s helping calm down the bride and groom,” Wylan explained. “Nina and I can go deal with the preacher, and then Nina can head off to distract the crowd for an hour. By then, Sergie and the kidnapped Peruvian should be back with the outfits.”

They all nodded. 

“Shouldn’t we be a bit more concerned that one, there’s a bunch of kidnapped Peruvian orchestra members running around, and two,  _ Jesper _ ’s been sent to find them?” Nina asked suddenly. “I mean, I get that they’re a mafia but I feel like we should be just a little more worried.”

“I’ll negotiate the orchestra’s release later,” Kaz said dismissively. “Besides, I talked to Wylan about the one sent with Sergie, and he told me it was because he played the viola?”

Wylan nodded gravely. “You can’t trust viola players,” he confirmed. At Matthias, Nina, and Kaz’s vaguely confused face, he attempted to elaborate. “Viola players are suspicious,” he amended. “Shady. They’re not… you have to watch them.”

“Okay?” Nina said. “Alright gang, I guess it’s time to go?”

With a shrug, the four disbanded. “This is going to be fun,” Matthias muttered under his breath. “And by that I mean we’re all  _ fucked _ .”

_ # _

Wylan stared at the door of the woman he was supposed to drug. “I got this,” he muttered under his breath as he took a step forward. 

_ She’s a mafia member _ , he reminded himself, and stepped backwards instead.  _ She can kill you _ .

“I can kill her too,” he muttered. “I can be dangerous.” Daringly, he walked up to the door, only to walk straight back to his original position. “Okay, but she’s also really dangerous.”

He heard a clobbering of footsteps behind him and turned to see Nina rush into the empty hall. “Oh thank god,” she crowed loudly in relief. “You’re here.”

Desperately, Wylan shook his head and mouthed for silence but it was too late. The door in front of them swung open to reveal a short, mildly overweight balding woman. “Hello?” she said squinting at the two of them. “What is the point of all this hubbub?”

Nina made a weird snort-y noise behind him, bending over to conceal her laughter. Vaguely, he heard her mutter something about the word ‘hubbub’. The legal preacher squinted at Nina and snapped,  “Why is she bent over like that?”

“She’s, er,” Wylan’s mind raced for something to say and finally he went, “has a  _ mental condition _ .” His voice dropped low and he pointed at Nina conspiratorially. “I’m her chaperone.”

Nina was going to kill him, but this was a problem for a later date. Instantly, the legal preacher made a noise of assent. “I understand,” she said in sympathy. “My stepson had one of those. Could never quite understand what was going on. Now, what seems to be all the fuss out here?”

Suddenly very aware of the liquid in Wylan’s pocket, something in his chest beat out and he grasped the vial. Was there any time to sneak it into her perfume? He didn’t think so.

“Street smarts!” Nina said suddenly, straightening and grabbing the vial from Wylan. Wylan whirled around to watch her uncap the bottle and toss it at the legal preacher’s face. 

“ _ Wha- _ ” the old woman started, but it was too late. She hit the floor in a dead collapse. 

“You didn’t use the entire bottle right?” Wylan asked, remembering Oksanochka’s instructions. “I think that might’ve killed her.”

Nina stared at the bottle, which was now completely empty. “Well,” she said after a second. “Do you want to dump her body into her dressing room and pretend we had nothing to do with it?”

He thought about it for a second, and deemed it the superior option to anything he could do. “Absolutely,” he said, and grabbed her arms. “You grab her legs and we’ll drag her into her room.”

Nina made a face but did as she was told, and pretty soon they had the legal preacher folded up on the floor of her dressing room. “Do you want to lift her on top of the couch or something?” Wylan asked, but considered how much might it would take. “Maybe not,” he answered himself.

“Absolutely not,” Nina corrected, wrinkling her nose. “Do you know how much this woman weighs? More than Sergie and Matthias  _ combined _ , I’d say.”

In all honesty, she wasn’t wrong. Wylan hummed and considered checking her pulse. Nina watched him mull it over for a bit before shaking her head. “That way,” she explained, “if Matthias tries to yell at us for accidentally killing her, we’ll pretend we just thought she was asleep!”

It was terrible, but Wylan shrugged and shut the door firmly after both he and Nina had exited. Knowing his friends had definitely done a number on his mental processes, Wylan thought, and he was probably insane now.

“Anyways, why’d you come for me?” he asked Nina. “What happened?”

Nina sighed. “I’ve had to distract them for the past fifteen minutes and it went downhill so fast. I tried playing  _ Just Dance _ with them, but I couldn’t merge my phone onto the big projector so we had to play it on a single phone.”

She stopped to shoot Wylan a single glare. “Do you know how hard it is to play  _ Just Dance _ with fifty people on a  _ single phone _ ?”

Wylan winced in sympathy. “That sounds rough,” he said patting her. “What happened after that?”

“I left,” Nina confessed in a dark voice. “It was getting painful. My dignity was leaving me too quickly.”

A sense of wariness rose in Wylan’s chest and he stopped walking. Wide-eyed, he shot Nina a worried look. “If you’re not distracting the guests, then who is?”

Her eyes grew wide too, and suddenly they were racing down the hall. “This way!” Nina said urgently and they skidded down corners to face a grand wooden door. She squinted at it for a second before shaking her head. “Back the way we came!”

It took about five more minutes than it probably should’ve, but finally Wylan and Nina were facing the right door. “Alright,” Nina said, taking a bracing step forward. “Let’s open the door and see what state the guests are in.”

Not allowing themselves a second more to ponder what disaster could have occurred, Nina threw open the grandly emblazoned arched wooden doors.

Considering this was a mafia wedding, Wylan had expected to find the guests caught in a massive fight. Maybe an abandoned daughter had come back from the dead to seek vengeance on her negligent father. Maybe a Peruvian orchestra member was being sacrificed.

He did  _ not _ expect to find fifty or so dedicated mafia wedding guests dancing dutifully along to the projector. On it, perhaps by a stroke of sheer miracle, the Just Dance app was playing and a silhouette plus half a hundred people were bopping along to Katy Perry’s  _ Teenage Dreams _ . 

“Huh,” Nina said after they’d stood in rapt attention for a few minutes. “Who would’ve thought?” From somewhere in the crowd, the two could heard a sharp  _ shush _ -ing noise and she stuck her tongue out at their direction. Wylan batted a distracted hand at her.

“I guess we’re not needed here after all,” he said dazedly, and they shut the door in bewilderment.

They stared at each other. “Do you want to stay here and make sure nothing goes wrong?” he asked before Nina could ask the same thing of him. 

She glared at him, obviously knowing exactly what he had done. “Sure,” Nina said, reluctance obvious on her throat. “Scurry out of this one, Van Eck.”

He shot her a grin. “I’m going to find Matthias and try to figure out what we have to do next.” Nina nodded and checked her phone.

“You should hurry,” she said. “Maybe find Jesper. The ceremony begins in an hour and thirty-eight minutes, and so far we don’t have the honeymoon cars or the wedding outfits.”

Wylan sighed. “See you in a bit.” Waving a hand, he turned to go find Kaz. Kaz was probably up to no good.

_ # _

“WHERE ARE YOU, BABE?”

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

“ _ WHERE ARE YOU _ ?”

Wylan winced as he heard his echoes bounce off of the trees. Somewhere out there, a homeless man was plotting to kill him for disturbing his rest.

“BEAR FOR SUE?” On the other side of the phone, Jesper’s voice was masked with a layer of absolute confusion. “WHO’S SUE? WHY ARE WE GIVING HER A BEAR??”

He sighed, leaned back and geared up once more. “NO.  _ WHERE _ ARE YOU?”

God knew what the absolute racket on Jesper’s side of the phone call was coming from, but Wylan would be damned if the members of the worst orchestra he had ever seen didn’t show up. He might lose a boyfriend in the process, but he would end this night overseeing orchestral music in some form or the other.

“OH!” Jesper finally shouted. “I’M ON MY WAY BACK FROM THE LIGHTHOUSE. I SHOULD BE BACK,” he took another deep breath before finishing his belt, “IN ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES.”

“ _ LIGHTHOUSE? _ ” Wylan yelled, bewildered. He sighed and decided to choose his battles. “WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?”

“THERE’S A PROTEST HAPPENING ON ROUTE SEVEN. PEOPLE ARE,” Jes paused, “RUNNING AROUND WITH DRUMS AND,” another deep breath, “SIRENS.”

“BE HERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN.” Wylan ran a hand down his hair and stared at the empty woods in front of him. Half an hour was a long time to continue stalling. “BREAK LAWS IF YOU HAVE TO.”

“DON’T WORRY,” Jesper said after a heartbeat. “IF I HAVE TO, I’LL  _ RUN PEOPLE OVER. _ ” His last words seemed to be directed at another person. 

“OKAY,” Wylan answered, and not knowing what else to say, decided to get on with the fifteen million other tasks he had to deal with instead. “I LOVE YOU. BYE.”

“DON’T YOU  _ DARE _ , YOU SON OF A-” Jesper began, and the phone abruptly cut off. Wylan distantly wondered what the fate of the Peruvians Jesper had been sent to hunt down.

_ Okay _ , he thought to himself.  _ Twenty minutes _ . That was manageable, right? Now there was only Sergie with the outfits, and Kaz and Matthias with the cars. Inej had hopefully finished comforting both the bride and groom, but even if she hadn’t managed, Wylan wasn’t above forcing one of the buff mafia members to carry Gretina and Bolliger if they weren’t up to it themselves.

“Two more phone calls,” Wylan promised himself. “Then you can go home.” Quickly, he dialed in Sergie’s number.

“ کمکم کنید,” a man pleaded from the other end of the call. “من گرفته شده اند, و آنها مرا رها نخواهند کر.”

Wylan squinted, and then remembered the extra Peruvian that was accompanying Sergie on his quest to collect the outfits.

“SERGIE,” he screamed, and waited as he heard a loud  _ thunk _ .

“My apologies!” Sergie boomed from the other end. “My friend picked the phone up, and then butterfingers over there dropped it!”

“Don’t worry about it. When are the wedding outfits going to be here?” He stared nervously at the woods again, and all the emptiness in front of him. Who knew how much you could play  _ JustDance _ before trying to kill each other?

“We’ll be there in about ten minutes,” Sergie assured. “They’re a little beaten up, but it’ll be okay.”

Wylan let out a gigantic sign of relief. “Oh thank  _ god _ ,” he said relieved. “This is really great news-”

“DON’T TOUCH THAT!” Sergie shouted suddenly. “Sorry Wylan,” he quickly said into the phone. “Gustav is fighting for control of the steering wheel. I must go.”

Horrified, Wylan listened to Sergie’s dial-tone. He gave himself a few seconds before typing in the digits for Matthias.

Immediately, Kaz’s dry tone reached Wylan. “We’ll be there in half an hour,” Kaz said shortly. “We needed to borrow a few tow trucks and truck drivers to haul everything back to the wedding site. Start the wedding without us.”

Not used to somebody answering his questions without a maddening introductory conversation, Wylan awkwardly cut of the beginning of his sentence. “Got it,” he said sheepishly, and then straightened. “Why is it taking  _ thirty _ minutes? How far did the DJ bring their cars?”

Kaz snorted. “The DJ brought the cars about ten minutes away from the wedding. Matthias just wanted ice cream.”

Faintly, Wylan heard an outraged cry from Matthias. “You wanted some too!” 

“Just get here,” Wylan interrupted. “The wedding can start without all the cars getting returned, but for  _ gods  _ sake please just get back.”

The phone clicked off without an answer, because Kaz was a dramatic little bitch sometimes.

Wylan was more than a little used to it by now. He spun around and began heading back inside, giving a sigh of relief as he re-entered the building and found it was still quiet. Now relatively familiar with the layout with this madhouse, he took a side hallway and decided to find Inej instead.

_ # _

“You thought I needed help?” Inej’s voice was soothing, but there was clear pity in it. “Oh, Wylan.”   


Wylan crossed his arms at the two women in front of him, both completely composed. “I thought you might need help with calming Bolliger?”

Inej’s eyes somehow got even more pitying. “Oh, _Wylan_. I was finished with him forty minutes ago.”

He frowned at her.

_ # _

“We do have a minor problem though,” Inej told him ten minutes later as they were hurtling back outside the entrance. “Kaz told me the flower girls got confused and thought this wedding was an assasination. They switched out their petals for poisonous ones.”

Wylan stopped mid-step, nearly tripping and falling on his face. “They think  _ what _ ?”

Inej grabbed his arm and kept walking. “Don’t worry. I dealt with it.”

“You did  _ what? _ ” he asked uselessly.

“I rectified the situation. Our small problem however is that I don’t know how to properly dispose of the chemical formula they painted their murderous flowers with. I was going to ask you to examine it.”

They were nearly at the entrance now, staring right at the extravagant double doors. “I’ll look at it afterwards,” Wylan promised, and then stopped them before they could actually leave. “Just to double-check: Jesper’s coming right now with the orchestra members. Nina’s entertaining the audience. The bride and groom are happy. Serige’s five minutes away and has everything. Kaz and Matthias have ice cream and about two-hundred cars. This is going to be okay, right?”

Inej smiled sweetly at him and grabbed both his hands. “This is going to be fine, Wylan,” and squeezed tightly. “And even if something does go wrong, that’s fine too. We can fix it.”

He looked at her, face shining just slightly as the sun rippled through the nearest window. She glowed almost ethereally. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly, trusting her to know his gratitude extended far further than this wedding. “I love you.”

Inej leaned close and kissed him on the cheek. She squeezed his hands again before letting go. “Let’s go get our clothes back,” she said with a crooked grin, and he couldn’t agree more.

_ # _

Wylan was pleasantly surprised to find that Jesper had managed to break every speed limit he had encountered and arrive before even Sergie. Desperately shuffling all the orchestra members together, he turned and watched as Inej then did her  level best to assure them they were allowed to leave after the day was over, Of course, Wylan once again regretted his whole life as he remembered exactly how much of a trainwreck his orchestra was, but their playing had at least improved in the sense that every member was no longer visibly shaking from terror.

He did his best to give them all a reassuring smile, guiding them into the formation they should be in at the hall. Sergie was going to come with the outfits any minute, and Wylan wanted the orchestra to start the ceremony as the bride and groom were wrangled into appropriate clothing.

“Play the E string for me, please!” Wylan called to a bedraggled looking violin player. She nervously did accordingly. “That’s a little sharp - tune your instrument some more.”

Steadily going through each section, Wylan jumped as the doors to the room they were in opened with a  _ thud _ . He turned and saw Sergie and a long slender man carrying an enormous stack of outfits.

“I HAVE ARRIVED,” his friend screamed, “TRIUMPHANT FROM MY TRAVELS.”

“ _ Go _ !” Wylan urged, running towards the next set of doors Sergie would go through. “Go to Gretina and Bolliger - hurry!” As soon as Sergie left the room, Wylan whirled and gestured for the orchestra to get ready. “You’re all moving to the ball room now,” he directed. “Get ready to play as soon as you’re settled.”

As they transitioned, Nina sprinted down another side door (how many side doors did this place have??) and grinned madly at Wylan. “Every guest is seated and the entire wedding committee is getting dressed,” she said. “Now or never, baby.”

_ # _

It was the most beautiful ceremony of his entire life. Wylan had attended many weddings as the son of a rich CEO, but he had never performed at one. His orchestra - perhaps struck by the beauty of the occasion or briefly animated by the spirit of Mozart - quietly crooned as Gretina walked down the aisle covered in non-poisonous flower petals. Her gown was gorgeous. Her smile even more.

Gently, Wylan directed the music to fade as the actual proceedings began. There was a lot of smiling and flustered vows. He turned and beamed at his friends as Gretina and Bolliger kissed. From the side, Sergie brushed a tear but gave Wylan a smile nevertheless.

After the ceremony was over, Wylan watched as Kaz and Matthias discreetly entered from yes, another side entrance. “The cars are all returned,” Matthias assured them.

“You have chocolate smeared on your face,” Nina shot back unimpressed, and Matthias show his girlfriend a bashful look. Kaz snickered and quieted as Inej hit him too.

“What losers,” Jesper piped up from the side. “Getting ice cream! You should be ashamed of yourselves.”

Kaz narrowed his eyes at Jesper. “I could’ve left your car at the hands of that damned DJ,” he warned the taller boy. “I could’ve left it  _ at a junkyard _ .”

The two began bickering as Wylan turned away and waved a hand at Sergie. The man was beaming now, all tears gone, looking joyous as he danced around the ballroom with some children.

Jesper broke off of his argument and beamed at Wylan. “I know I’ve said it before, but your music was absolutely beautiful.”

Leaning into his boyfriend, Wylan kissed him lightly and ignored Nina’s  _ ewwws _ . “This wedding is... " He kissed Jesper again. "I’m so happy.”

“This is a happy day,” Inej said smiling at them both. 

“Or at least, it has been, until Gretina and Bolliger find out that the car that was supposed to drive them to their honeymoon is  _ completely _ out of gas,” Jes snickered. “We burnt it all out. There’s nothing left in the tank.”

Wylan paled and drew away from Jesper. “We should leave before they try to go on their honeymoon, shouldn’t we?” he asked, and shot a begging look at his friends. “I don’t want to be here for that.”

“Coward,” Kaz snorted and threaded his fingers through with Inej in an unusual display of affection. She kissed his cheek and it tinted a light red. 

“Let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> So especially after TWVE, this really became an act of love. I started this epilogue less as a conclusion and more of a way to reconnect with my characters and write a happy story. I began writing this right around the time I had really lost momentum with TWVE, and subsequently around when TWVE had reached its darkest, angstiest zenith. I remember overhearing a sentiment a long time ago that I've always thought was beautiful and has definitely applied to all my writing throughout the ages - the idea of creativity as an act of love. I like to think that humanity is inherently creative, and that we push ourselves to write and draw and paint and act and play because that is a function of what we were made to do. And yes, no matter how dramatic this is considering I'm currently fifteen and writing Six of Crows fanfic at my desk, this story really freed me from a lot of drudgery I was going through and re-introduced me to my writing. 
> 
> On a much lighter note, as already stated at the beginning, the title goes to Taylor Swift, and yes, I really did listen to _Love Story_ 24601 times during the writing of this epilogue. I wanted the title to originally be a homage to BORN's Past Lives with "diamond sparrow, my moonlit majesty" but alas, it wasn't to be.
> 
> Lastly, as previously stated in my earlier story, there was a lot of thought and process work that went into the creation of this. If anybody is interested in writer's processes, feel free to DM me! I even created a shoddy blueprint of the mansion this story takes place in, so I am always down to talk to others about exactly what went into this.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this, and I hope you enjoyed!


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